Growing up in a small rural town, I quickly learned how unprepared most people are when it comes to interacting respectfully with disabled individuals. As someone who is blind, I’m often stopped by strangers asking invasive questions like, “Are you blind?”, “How much can you see?”, or—on one surreal occasion—offered an unsolicited prayer outside a church.
At first, I tried to be patient. I’d answer their questions, hoping it would help build understanding. But over time, I realized these interactions weren’t about connection—they were about curiosity, or worse, inspiration porn. People seemed fascinated by my blindness, not me. My identity was reduced to a disability.
It wasn’t until I began exploring disability activism and understanding the importance of representation that I saw what was really happening: these weren’t inherently cruel people—they were ignorant. And ignorance stems from a lack of education, not intent.
Instead of labeling everyone “ableist” and walking away, I’ve learned that real progress requires conversation. So let’s talk about how to treat disabled people with respect, avoid common pitfalls, and unlearn society’s most persistent myths.
1. Stop Asking Intrusive Questions
Curiosity is not an excuse for rudeness.
When you meet a disabled person, don’t make their disability your opening topic. Questions like “What happened to you?” or “Were you born like this?” are deeply personal and inappropriate when coming from strangers.
If disability is the first thing you comment on, you reduce that person to a diagnosis. Imagine walking up to a Black person and asking to touch their hair—John Oliver actually did a great segment on this. While not identical, the core issue is the same: you’re prioritizing your curiosity over someone’s comfort and autonomy.
If you’re truly interested in learning more about disabilities, do your own research. Google is free, and disabled voices are all over social media, YouTube, and podcasts. Educate yourself before you start personal conversations.
2. Don’t Offer Help Unless It’s Asked For
Not all help is helpful.
It might feel kind to jump in and offer assistance to a disabled person you see navigating the world, but unless someone clearly looks like they’re struggling, don’t assume they need help. Many disabled individuals receive extensive training to handle daily tasks independently.
Before you offer help, observe the situation. If someone seems fine, they probably are. If they need help, they’ll likely ask. Automatically assuming we need assistance is often more condescending than compassionate.
3. Please, Don’t Pray Over Us
Spirituality is personal—not a public service.
One of the most baffling things disabled people experience is strangers offering spontaneous prayers, as if our existence is a tragedy needing divine intervention. This is both presumptive and deeply disrespectful.
First, you don’t know our religious beliefs. Second, it sends the message that our lives are broken or cursed. Most of us are not suffering from our disability—we’re dealing with an ableist world. So rather than offering prayer, consider offering respect.
If your heart is genuinely moved, keep it private. Pity from a distance is still pity—and we’d prefer you treat us like equals, not projects.
Bottom Line: Treat Disabled People Like Everyone Else
The most respectful way to interact with someone who has a disability? See us as people first.
If you’re curious, get to know us—our interests, hobbies, careers, passions. Once there’s a genuine connection, we might feel comfortable sharing our experiences with disability. But let us choose when and how.
Disability is just one part of our identity—not the whole story.
Blind Zebra 
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